You know that song A ship called dignity - well it's always reminded me of one of my neighbours, an Irishman with a stutter, still has the bright coat from his working days - clearly a labourer or council worker like the man in the song.

Anyway, he has this van. He's been working on it ever since I've been here, no doubt for many years before I even arrived.

I realised something just now - one day, he'll get into it and drive off. But not when he's alive. He works and works at it, but it never leaves the driveway. Maybe once or twice in the entire 2 years I've been here.

This is the hood, people here are poor (Knightley and other filmstars/tv-stars live round the corner, where the houseprices are only high because of what the houses are really worth, not like here, where they rise and fall at the whim of the greedy) they dream, but dreams don't usually come true here in the hood. Nightmares, yes, even ones overloaded with filthy money, pimping muthas and those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers (and you will KNOW my name).

But that man.... when he dies, that's what's going to happen to him. He's going to find himself in his van, driving off into eternity, enjoying that van the way he has always deserved. He is visibly a very great man, although I know the kind of opinion anyone would have about him, particularly the middle-class residents around the outskirts of this little annexe of the hood - it's not far from here to one of the most dangerous council estates in the entire city and possibly country - 3 minutes walk from my door. Well, if you walk like a city worker. If you walk like someone from the hood - maybe 10 minutes at most.

Think about that. CBWM... when you die, I suspect you'll go off in a tank, to be eternally surrounded by rage and fear. When I die... there's either going to be a LOT of women, or none at all, or one - eternally. Yes - I think that's really it. Just one. To be quite honest, really honest, to the point of spouting gibberish mad insane religious nuttery {hey what's new} I think she always has, I think I've been through many lifetimes with her, and that our souls will always be together - i mean I've spent nearly a decade ignoring her and focusing desperately on palestine and the many children of war in the world, and when I find what she's doing - she went to all the same places where I walk in my sleep and my dreams as I watch over, at night, all those I care about.

Still, you only get that if you live your life properly. And she'll be on this side of the door of death too, of course.

We all have our ship. And one day we all sail. So it's best to be ready. The man with the van is definitely ready. He's a real geyser. You find a lot of that in the hood. Of course you do also find tyrants, greedy evil violent people, and a lot of filth... a LOT of filth. Filth is the hallmark of the hood.

When I die, I hope to come back as the voice in the back of your head.