How much ability do you have to modify the VPS that you're on?
I'm not offering to do anything for you, but look into implementing "lighty" lighthttpd. I believe http://howtoforge.com has a few articles on how to implement it.
Lighty acts as a front-end to your apache server. Any requests that come in for static content (most CSS, JS, Images, etc...) are served by lighty. It never tries to serve any dynamic content. Because of this, it's proccess sizes never grow larger than about 2MB. Currently, all of your files are being served by Apache. Once Apache serves PHP content, its proccesses will grow to between 15 and 20MB on average. However, those ultra-large processes will also serve the same static content, which could be handled much easier by a smaller process. So, lighty handles the static content, and apache only gets passed the dynamic requests, which means it can handle it with fewer proccesses. I've found with most CMS software, upwards of 70% of the http requests you see are for static content....
That being said, optimzing your code and setup is also a good idea.
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