Need a little help with advertisement content

**gszauer** · 12-11-2008, 12:56 AM

Hi all, I am trying to create a survey to distribute to local businesses. The survey follows a close format to a school project i did (Same concept). I am trying to convey in writing that while the survey started out as a school project the current survey is intended to gather data that will help me, and is not school related at all. This is what i have

Quote:

[Greetings], my name is [Full Name], i am a student attending [School name]. In an ongoing effort to identify Web Management Needs i am currently surveying businesspeople for their thoughts on a range of Web-related issues. This survey was initially designed for a school related project, i have been continuing to use it as the collated data collected from this survey is of great help to me.

I am writing to ask if you would take a little time to complete the enclosed survey form and post it back via the Reply Paid Envelope. This survey should not take more than a few minutes of your time, as it has been designed to be quickly and easily answered.

Any help, and all comments are appriciated.
Thank you for your time
~Gabor

**witnesstheday** · 12-11-2008, 05:21 AM

you probably want to leave the school project thing out of it altogether then.

the main thing to remember in ANY kind of pitch, even just one to get them to tick a few boxes, is that you have to focus on the benefit to them.

in sales we have a two-part system, a duality in every item we sell

there are features
and there are benefits

the feature of a sports car that could be a good one would be "convertible"
the benefit of the convertible roof... you can enjoy the sun and impress women. (it's shallow, i know, but i'm just giving you examples)

so what you need, rather than a bit of writing which will bore most people and make them think "i hate surveys anyway, why fill this one out? the letter is boring" you need something taht makes them think "yeah. if i fill that survey out, i'll be achieving something"

how to do that i don't know. no one has EVER convinced me to fill out a survey yet! okay, apart from the government - but putting yourself on the electoral register isn't really the same as filling a survey.

good luck, though. what are you selling anyway?

**Avitus** · 12-11-2008, 07:08 AM

He's right you need to add some "hope for gain" you need to give them a reason to fill out your survey.

I would do something like this....

"In an ongoing attempt to identify web management needs and to provide information about fulfilling solutions, my school and myself would like to invite you to participate in providing us some valuable feedback. Below is a list of questions that should take only a few minutes. "

This was a quick example of how I would write it. Although even this needs more benefits

**witnesstheday** · 12-11-2008, 07:12 AM

if you can manage to work them into your pitch, the 2 things people MOST hope to gain (yes, even the married rich ones) is

1. (more) sex
2. (more) money

of course that's not so easy. but it's not that hard either. even just a bit of gloss and a smiling pretty female face can push things in the right direction.

**gszauer** · 12-11-2008, 12:16 PM

Thanks for the help guys.
I think i'm going to leave the school part out all-together.

The original school survey was to identify the most active Web Design Firms in our area, now i'm just looking for info on my competition.

I'll figure out something to offer as an incentive for whoever fills out the survey.
Thanks again
~Gabor

**witnesstheday** · 12-11-2008, 06:28 PM

It's a pleasure. It's like doing revision for an exam... the more you seek to answer the questions of others, the more one (re)learns oneself. Otherwise why would skilled well-paid professionals give of their minds, often without even a scraping of pay... the rest of us just take what we can!

Good luck with making your web design firm grow. There can never be too much good web design! Let's hope you're good, eh?

The best advertising is a good product. If someone likes something, they tell everyone about it!

**Learning Newbie** · 12-11-2008, 08:55 PM

I'm going to step out on a limb, and disagree with the rest of the replies in this thread. I'd make it sound less like a cold call on paper, not more. I will very often take a survey for altruistic reasons, to help gather and consolidate knowledge, etc. On the other hand, when somebody tells me how I'll benefit by helping them (and by telling my business needs, clearly, I'm helping some else's business intelligence campaign), I feel I'm being lied to, and will not donate my time to help.

This being the writing forum, I'll point out that every time you used the word I, it's in lower case. Should be capitalized.

**witnesstheday** · 12-12-2008, 06:02 PM

But noob, on the other thread you admitted to being the sort of person who hates tv and thinks people shouldn't watch it. Whilst I agree with you, I'm afraid we are in a very small minority.

I am responding using my expertise in the profession of advertising and sales.

Is it not true that things which have less taste, which are lower quality, which are often more moronic - are the things which come to be the "mainstream"? Is it not the case that the shallow, knee-jerk way is the way of modern man and that intellectuals like you and I are complete outliers, totally unrepresentative of the way things work?

Maybe we don't want to start another long debate! Still. I have to defend my point... you can't pretend that Rupert Murdoch is less successful than George Galloway in terms of spreading his political ideologies to the world?

If you've ever walked through Tower Hamlets you'll know that his success in getting the Respect party through the door is no big achievement - the dress code in Tower Hamlets is hijab or kameez...

the fact is - if this were an ideal world, all that I said about sales would be untrue. Sadly it is not an ideal world. People DO go for basic greed -

power, privelege, profit, pleasure

the 4 Ps, they're called, just like the many other names for the core values of the modern world.

When I walk around in London wearing casual clothes people treat me like a terrorist, I swear to god, above all on tube lines (they move to other doors on the train), but when I wear a YSL suit and my best shirt-tie combo they assume, since I don't appear to be the bottom-rung of society, that I'm not muslim at all... I've tested my hypothesis to the limit and it's true: attempts to deny it will just offend me as much as the people who walk away from me on the tube unless I look "white".

I don't pretend I like this world, but I'll be damned if I'll stay poor. If you wanna help the kid, let him learn ruthlessness. Although fair play, he can do it your way and he'll learn even more firmly - through his abject failure!!

Take it easy noob.