Reply
Writing Critique
Old 07-23-2006, 09:04 PM Writing Critique
$100 - $999 Monthly

Posts: 284
Please critic this article. I would like to submit it to article sites to help promote my new email service. Thanks!

----------

The Magic of a Name

I remember back in 1994 when I first signed up for online access through America Online. Their custom software gave you a few choices for a sign up name which would also be your email address. I tried several things and finally had to settle for a play on my name with Roman Numerals at the end. But wait, that's getting way ahead of our story.

When I was 12 years old way back in 1984, we moved to another school district. Back then, having the first name Chance was more like a curse than a blessing. Kids always looked for something that made you different and found a way to use it against you. For me, it was my unusual, at the time at least, first name. So, when we moved across town, I decided I wanted to go by Tony, the nickname for my middle name of Anthony.

I remember it like it was not 22 years ago. On the first day, the teachers would take roll call and ask you if you wanted to go by another name. I would sit anxiously in my chair waiting for the teacher to call out Chance. Not a second after they uttered my name, I would blurt out a rushed, Please call me Tony, before the rest of the class noticed. It was bad enough that I felt like all eyes were on me. I didn't want to stand out on the first day at a new school in a new district. I wanted to blend in, be normal. And so it was as I repeated this process 6 times that first day as we changed teachers for each subject.

Then something happened a few years latter that changed my whole perception on having an unusual name. I was 15 and working for a pizza joint at the local mall. When I interviewed for the job, I used my real first name of Chance instead of Tony. On the first day, they had a name tag made up for me. I didn't get the opportunity to tell them I would rather go by Tony. So, there I was with a big fat name badge for the whole world to see and it said Chance. It was too late to change my name badge, so I stuck with it.

I am glad I did because I learned a valuable lesson. You see, working in a mall as a teenager is a great thing because there are so many girls your same age and they all have to eat sometime. Funny thing, my name badge became an ice breaker. I didn't have to say a thing. The girls always started the conversation. Wow, is that your name? How did you get such a cool name? And so on....

From that day forward, I have proudly used the name Chance and it has been a great ice breaker no matter where I go.

Email can have a similar effect. I know. I have seen it first hand. Whenever I tell someone My Other Email address, I get reactions like Wow, that is cool. Where did you get such a cool email address? You see, my email address is an extension of my personality. It is more than a box on some free public server somewhere.

Take a look at all of the free email offerings available today. You have Hotmail, Yahoo mail and Google's Gmail. How many people sign up for Hotmail today with a 6 plus digit number stuck on the end of a 3 word phrase? Yahoo mail isn't much better because it serves as a login for their website as well as an email address. So, then you have Gmail. Things should be better as they are currently in beta testing through invitation only. I finally received an invite about 6 months ago. I was excited because Gmail was the latest, greatest thing and I had an opportunity to get in early enough to get a great name or at least I thought I did. I tried all the variations on my favorite email address. It was a play on my name of Chance. Well, it seems I had no chance of getting the email address I wanted. Wouldn't you know it. That darn email address with Roman Numerals from my early experiences of email had come back to haunt me. Now, I had to use it again for my Gmail account.
I already had a cool email address, one that made people ask me questions without even prompting them. With Gmail, I was just another number in the sea of numbers. And it hit me. I am not a Roman Numeral. I am Chance and I want my email to reflect my personality. I want my email to open doors. I want an email address that reflects who I am.

Chance S. is the owner of My Other Email (http://www.MyOtherEmail.com), a new free email service that allows you to be who you are, not just another number. If you would like to discuss this interesting new service, you can email me @ My Other Email dot com. Now that is what I call an email address with personality.
__________________
Atomm
Gamers Radio: New and Improved Ad Blending!
Advertisepedia Internet Marketing Blog
Atomm is offline
Reply With Quote
View Public Profile Visit Atomm's homepage!
 
When You Register, These Ads Go Away!
Old 07-23-2006, 09:13 PM
Hoang's Avatar
$$$

Posts: 1,210
Interesting article. I enjoyed it up till the last paragraph which got boring rather quickly. You're a good story-teller
Hoang is offline
Reply With Quote
View Public Profile
 
Old 07-24-2006, 12:12 AM
marketjunction's Avatar
Junior Talker

Posts: 68
I didn't read it, but I noticed something. Perhaps it's formatting, but you have many short paragraphs and then a whopper at the end. Break that down and be more concise if you must.
__________________
Hire: Copywriter | Links:GamblerMarketing.com | TourismJunction.com
marketjunction is offline
Reply With Quote
View Public Profile Visit marketjunction's homepage!
 
Old 07-24-2006, 09:40 AM
squirrelmaster's Avatar
Junior Talker

Posts: 13
i read it, and I really like it but not only the writing also the story itself
I am glad you started that site, but you realize in 10 years it will be just like hotmail or yahoo?

1 thing though just for clarification, is it me @ myotheremail .com, or chance @ myotheremail .com in the last paragraph?
__________________
squirrels are your friends
squirrelmaster is offline
Reply With Quote
View Public Profile
 
Old 07-24-2006, 11:38 AM
$100 - $999 Monthly

Posts: 284
Me will be the contact email. And you did figure out my personal address. ;-) Mind putting a space in between to keep spam bots from getting me? :-)

I understand about being just like Hotmail, etc down the road. I really don't plan on getting that big. It's a fiercely competitive market and I will have to pull out all the stops to even get a foothold. I am trying to be as creative as I can. If I can get 10,000 free accounts and 5,000 paid accounts, I would be happy.

I will work on the last part. Thank you for taking the time to read my story.
__________________
Atomm
Gamers Radio: New and Improved Ad Blending!
Advertisepedia Internet Marketing Blog
Atomm is offline
Reply With Quote
View Public Profile Visit Atomm's homepage!
 
Old 07-27-2006, 01:23 AM
imported_Fritz's Avatar
Junior Talker

Posts: 67
I like it. Cool story.
__________________
www.stuffrocks.net - add your site to my directory for free
Text Link Ads - Sell links from your web site! Refer someone else and earn $25!
imported_Fritz is offline
Reply With Quote
View Public Profile Visit imported_Fritz's homepage!
 
Old 07-30-2006, 10:33 AM
Jason Webb's Avatar
Junior Talker

Posts: 22
If your plan is to submit it to the articles directories then my first comment would
be about the title.

Generally, the search fundtions on the articles directories only allow you to search
for keywords in article titles. Therefore, the likelihood of anybody searching for any
of the keywords in your article title are slim.

I really think you need a main keyword or two in there such as "Email: The Magic
of a Name". At least then, people doing a search for articles on "email" will find yours.

Best Regards
__________________
Jason Webb
Jason Webb's Your Mastermind Group - "The MySpace for business people!"
Jason Webb is offline
Reply With Quote
View Public Profile Visit Jason Webb's homepage!
 
Old 08-01-2006, 02:31 PM
$100 - $999 Monthly

Posts: 284
Thanks for the tip Jason. That is a great idea and I am deffinately going to use it.

I'm still new to this article submission stuff and appreciate all suggestions.
__________________
Atomm
Gamers Radio: New and Improved Ad Blending!
Advertisepedia Internet Marketing Blog
Atomm is offline
Reply With Quote
View Public Profile Visit Atomm's homepage!
 
Old 08-24-2006, 08:38 PM
Prosperinet's Avatar
Junior Talker

Posts: 30
I would really like to know how you got the name...
There is a place in Newfoundland ( Canada! ) called
"Come By Chance." You wern't born there, by chance?
__________________
:euro: Here's to your success! :euro:

Visit my BLOG :blushing:
Prosperinet is offline
Reply With Quote
View Public Profile Visit Prosperinet's homepage!
 
Old 08-25-2006, 10:13 AM
junger's Avatar
Junior Talker

Posts: 120
Definitely have to agree with Jason about the title. On the Web, cliche magazine titles don't work (not saying yours is cliche, but) -- you have to hit the person over the head with what the story is about.

The title has to be specific and tell the reader exactly what the story is about or you are less likely to get them to read the whole thing.
junger is offline
Reply With Quote
View Public Profile Visit junger's homepage!
 
Reply     « Reply to Writing Critique
 

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Webmaster Resources Marketplace:
Software Development Company | Webhosting.UK.com | Text Link Brokers 


   
RSS Feed  Feeds: RSS   JS   XML
RSS Feed  Feeds for this forum: RSS   JS   XML

 


Page generated in 0.16049 seconds with 12 queries