Please review my new blog

**magicman24** · 06-20-2008, 01:24 PM

Please help me improve my new website, i will change anything you guys say, just help me with your opinion

**Sneakyheathen** · 06-22-2008, 07:12 PM

before I start, you should really put more defensiveness into your site. (weird to say, I know, but I have a reason!) If you sway to every opinion, you'll end up with a project you hate doing. Be open to suggestions, but don't crack.

First Impression

"There's no design, so i can point that out, or I can think of it as a blank palette"

Design

I gotta say it, it's been a while. "What design?" That being done, I'm going to assume your website is about breaking up with a girl/guy using texting? (I've done that before...but it was long distance, so I'm somewhat excused from blatant rudeness, also, they kept texting, like a stalker!) So you're maybe gonna want a girl, a cell phone, and some emotion for your header/logo/what have you.

Please read this post before moving on. (edit: I couldn't find the one I was looking for, but that one makes some good points too, me thinks.)

A few observations.

Why does your website continue FAR down the page when the content ends after about 600px?
Why isn't your title h1 (since it's just text, and really should be a logo)?
Why is the poor right navigation being squished into oblivion?

So yes, invest some time, and correct your designs. (and please don't go prowling through my signature links to come back and attack me with them. Those who can't do - teach. Those who can do - don't teach...or something to that effect.)

Content

Awwwwkward! Check out this paragraph:

Quote:

Letting off your partner with an sms can be the easiest thing you have ever done with your life, but the question is how will your partner feel when you’ll break up with him with an sms message, of course it will make him feel bad, but would you want someone do it to you?

Okay, I think you've just got a run-on in here. Here's what it should kinda be:

Quote:

Letting your partner off with an SMS [message] can be the easiest thing you will ever do in your life, but the question is: how will your partner feel when you break up with him/her using an SMS message? (the sentence after this one? It's kind of redundant. So pick #1 or #2. I like #2, because I only use "of course" for short emphasis. Of course!) How would you want someone to break up with you?

You've got one page going on, so I'll edit the whole thing.

Quote:

When you break up with someone, it’s always better to come face to face, it’s not that hard to do, and it will let your partner to feel appreciated, and you’ll be able to say hello to him when you see him.

Remember that when you say goodbye to him with an sms, you cannot talk to him after that, because he will fill like a 0, so why doing it to him, just say that you don’t want him, or don’t need him’ and finish the storry like it should be ended, i promise that you will feel better with yourself, and your X partner will fell better too, don’t forget that the wheel always comes back to you, and the smallest thing you can do is letting him go with honor, don’t play games with people, try to be yourself, and break up with him like a human

And here's my version:

Quote:

When you break up with someone, it's always better to come face to face. It's not that hard to do, and it will let your partner feel appreciated. (and you'll be able to say hello to him when you see him.) [doesn't that last sentence seem a LITTLE random? Or is it just me? ]

Remember that when you say goodbye to him with an SMS, you cannot talk to him after that, [tell that to my ex-girlfriend...] because he will feel like a loser. So why do it to him? Just say that you don't want him, or that you don't need him and finish the story as it should be ended. [it's not a good idea to use like for um...not comparison, but you know, that type of sentence.] I promise that you will feel better about yourself, [with makes no sense] and your ex-partner will feel better too. Don't forget that the wheel always come back to you [..what? what kind of analogy is that?] and the best [..smallest?] thing you can do is to let him go with honor. Don't play games with people; just try to be yourself, and break up with him like a human. [as opposed to like a monkey?]

You're essentially using commas like periods, which isn't good grammar. Also, you misspelled a lot of words. Oh, and fill out your about page....for the children!

Would I Read It?

I don't need to break up with anyone right now...haha. (sigh)

Overall

Work on your design, proof-read your content.

**compjason** · 06-30-2008, 12:16 AM

What sneakyheathen said is dead on but I'm going to add a little. You definitely need a design. Anyways what I have to say will be negative, but I am honestly trying to help you out.

You have one post to match a million ads. That is bad. Your site is more of a blog post. I just checked again and apparently your site is supposed to be a blog. I couldn't tell. If you are really trying to create a great site, make it look like a blog and kill about 80% of the advertising. You are not going to get any readers with the site you have now let alone returning ones with zero content a buttload of ads.

Sorry this was so negative but it's true. Good luck though.

**macdog** · 07-03-2008, 02:07 PM

Agree with the previous replies,
You need a logo header, widgets etc.
Make it look like a blog.

**newworld-6** · 07-03-2008, 02:59 PM

Loads very slow to me and i cannot see images at work

**Arleigh** · 07-04-2008, 03:56 AM

Your site has lots of ads and less content.
On its design, it really needs some more improvement.
I agree with the other members have said..

**beacon.seo** · 07-07-2008, 10:51 PM

i can't seem to access you site...

**Johnnie Walker** · 07-09-2008, 12:00 AM

Everyone else seems to have hit it already... Ditch the Adsense theme, and add more graphics. Lots more. That may mean moving from Freehostia, though. Their server time seems really slow.

**johnlloyd** · 07-10-2008, 07:29 AM

it is better to post interesting and relevant content on your blog, and try to minimize the ads on your blog, and to the design try to find standard themes for your blog!

**meanne2007** · 07-15-2008, 09:52 AM

your site is pretty good...but it think you should improve the color designed and the page layout

**summer14** · 07-17-2008, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by meanne2007

your site is pretty good...but it think you should improve the color designed and the page layout

I agree, and learn more aspects of attracting viewers in reading your articles. Make it more inviting.

**highanddry** · 05:40 PM

I agree with the above mention of poor writing. You definately will not be able to improve this on your own. I say this so definatively because after reviewing the content, it is apparant that there are huge problems with your use of the English language. You use both "fill" and "fell" to say "feel," in the same paragraph?

What I would like to add is... I'm sorry but I think this is a truly awful idea for a website. Poorly thought out, poorly outlined and poorly executed.

I'm not sure if you are promoting breaking up over "sms" (whatever that is.. no explanation given) or saying its "better to come face to face." You say both almost in an effort to contradict yourself.

Breaking up with someone over the internet (as I am assuming is the focus of the website) is a horrible and even anti-social/loser thing to do.

I usually say "~good luck" after reviewing sites, but in all honestly this is one of the worst ideas I have had the unfortunate privelage to review.

I can save you a TON of time right now by telling you flat out; This site will never work out. Perhaps with the right team, 'breaking up over the internet' could be marketed so that it 'seems like a 'nobel thing,' but the combination of design flaws, content flaws (what content?) and the entire premise being flawed, will make this baby sink instantly.

~Good Luck!

**lovelykate** · 07-19-2008, 03:04 AM

You should post an original and fresh content to make your website have some appeal on the audience, make it more inviting.

**TooManyTriangle** · 07-19-2008, 02:27 PM

Agree totally with Arleigh. There are three adverts at the top of the page. It devalues your content, since I'm skimming and can't easily tell what's an ad and what's not so I may end up ignoring what you've written.

The theme is dire. Get rid of it. There's plenty of nice themes available here:
http://themes.wordpress.net/

**maya01** · 07-19-2008, 08:08 PM

it's definately very plain looking site ! you need to make it fun bright so that people want to look at different stuff you have to offer..

**eautocad** · 07:38 PM

it loaded fine for me, but your content is somewhat dry.. you need headers (h1 h2 etc to get better SE listings)

also try spicing up the font and color theme to match that of a teen age girl... Aren't they the ones that break up the most?

Use pastels, funky colors, etc.. Be fashionable, and maybe put some beefcake advertising on it (half dressed men)

advertise this to places your customers lurk(chat rooms, teen advice, condom sites, music, movies, etc... get on ICQ and AIm and start promiting there when you can) look for blogs and related forums as well, and you should be good to go!

**solutionheaven** · 08-03-2008, 11:41 AM

Do you have more than one article in the "site"? I agree with everyone else that posted here. This website does not seem to make sense.